“Balance” is a verb

We often talk about balance in life and always seem to want more of it. As a general understanding, we therefore refer to rearranging our activities of the day so that we do more of those things we like and less of those we don’t. Now that should not be too complicated. We simply have to figure our what we want to rearrange and get on with it – rearrange it. And if we can’t rearrange it we should look for the reasons why we don’t seem to find balance. This is where balancing gets active.

According to the dictionary balance is “to put something in a steady position so that it does not fall”, or “an even distribution of weight enabling something to remain upright”. The reasons why most of us do not structure our lives are often one of the following: we feel we don’t deserve it and do not give ourselves permission, guilt, we think we don’t have the authority, we think we will miss out on something, or we may feel compromised if we do. There may be more but they all approach the aspect of balancing from only the one side.

Often we want to balance and only have the good stuff, which is not balancing at all. We need to recognize that life is a challenge and that certain things need to be done because we owe it to something or someone other than our self, whether we like it or not. If we consult our conscience (not our mind) we will soon enough hear that guiding voice deep inside of us calling us to do the right thing and balance our life’s activities the way we ought to (not the way we want to). Notice the strong undertone of personally taking responsibility here.

But up to now, we have been referring to balancing what we do – balancing our time or activities. What we have missed is a balancing act of a completely different nature. Before we can begin to balance what we do, we need to balance what we are. Balancing what we are, suggests we recognize and accept all the parts of us – positive and negative. But our minds and ego’s are not very good at this and quite reluctant to accept the not so perfect. We shy away from recognizing our weaknesses and faults and want to only have strong parts. But like in any organism, organization or social structure, we are not perfect.

We need to accept and embrace our shadows and only then can we become balanced as a whole. To not recognize the negative parts is to live lopsidedly, unbalanced in denial. Only when we have the awareness and courage to accept our imperfections can we begin to deal with those aspects constructively on the way of becoming more balanced. And like with balancing our activities, we have to personally take responsibility to do this.